Tag Archive: 2012


Technically, I’m not sure if this is Day 2 of my challenge or not since Day 1 was more of an intro, but for the sake of staying with the calendar, I’m going to say it’s Day 2.  To clarify what I appreciate from Day 1, I’ll go ahead and say that I appreciate people who stay motivated and take the time to find an interest/project to work on for 365 days.  Now, back to Day 2…

Today I’m focusing on my love and appreciation for dance fitness.  This may not be a familiar topic for everyone reading, and since my thoughts go a mile a minute, I’ll slow down and provide some background information.  Dance fitness is a form of group exercise that involves different types of dancing–sounds self explanatory.  Think Richard Simmons-Sweatin’ to the Oldies, Jazzercise, Crunch cardio, and the one I really want to focus on: Zumba!  Zumba has really become popular within gyms and at home through video games and DVDs.  Right now, I attend 3-5 Zumba/dance classes at my gym a week and I love it.  I first started my Zumba experience through the video game for Playstation 3.  I’m not really a dancer and initially the idea of group exercise was very intimidating.  The video game was great.  It helped me get used to some of the moves, and even though my character was not always lit green (which means you’re doing well), I still felt like I was getting a workout.  And let’s be honest, the PS3 Move controllers are not the greatest when it comes to motion games, so I justified a lot of my errors due to the gaming system.  After spending a couple of weeks in the safety of my home learning the main Zumba moves, I decided to try some free classes at a local gym.  It was fun at first, but unfortunately the room was overcrowded and the routine was the same for all 3 classes I attended.  I decided it wasn’t worth paying for a gym membership, and would just have to continue to Zumba at home until…a wonderful friend introduced me to Zumba/Just Dance classes at another local gym.  She said she had been going for a few months and had lost 20 lbs.  I attended my first class the next week and signed my membership contract right after it ended.  I was so excited and glad that I had pushed myself out of my comfort zone and boundaries at home.  The instructors were inviting and so were the other members who attended the classes.  I watched as more people caught onto the trend and the room filled.  Now, you have to get a ticket early, just to guarantee a spot in the max: 70 class.

The lead instructor of the Zumba classes at the gym has her own dance fitness company.  In two weeks she is holding an instructor interest seminar and workshop to prepare for auditions for her instructor team.  This has been on my mind a majority of the time since she announced this three days ago.  I’m not a trained dancer, and besides Zumba and her dance classes, I really have no other experience dancing.  I’m not outgoing, and I feel like this is the main weakness I have when it comes to attending this workshop and auditioning.  However, I also recognize that I need to push myself, just like the way I pushed myself to attend the classes in the first place.

Short tangent that is not as random as it will seem: Currently, I work at an elementary school.  Today, the guidance counselor was teaching a lesson to a 1st grade class about being scared.  She asked them if adults ever got scared, and the class collectively answered no.  She went on to explain that adults do get scared and that it’s normal.  The example she shared told of how she would be scared if she started a new job or were to start working at a different school.  Her example struck me, and I thought to myself, that seems like a better example for “nervous”.  I felt that she could’ve thought of a better example for “scared”.  However, as I think about this workshop and putting myself out there to audition to be a dance instructor, I realize SCARED is exactly how I feel.  I’m completely terrified…it’s beyond nervous.

So I’m really not sure what to do.  I know that some outgoing people out there will read this and say the answer is simple: just do it, what do you have to lose?  And it’s easy to think that and repeat that to myself at times, but when it really comes down to it, it’s a very hard feeling to get past.  It’s hard for me to explain how I feel about this, but it is an interest and profession that I have considered prior to actually experiencing the dance classes.  Fitness, exercise, health and athletics are very important to me.  Some of my friends have said that they could see a fitness/exercise related field as my profession because I’m pretty much obsessed with working out and I focus on my health and the health of others a lot.  I’m not perfect by any means, and I often fall off track with my own health regimen, but it is something that is always a focus and always on my mind.

I apologize for this post being chaotic.  Honestly, I’m thinking that my 365 posts are going to be unorganized and very “free.”  It’s my way of sorting out my thoughts and getting them out into the open.  I’m hoping to be able to learn from my own thoughts and my own words, as well as the comments and contributions of others.  To sum up the hope and fear that is going on in my head…

I am hopeful of finding something that I love

I am scared to step out of my comfort zone

I am scared of judgement by others

I have social anxiety around people I do not know well…I’m very reserved for the people I feel most comfortable with

I am scared of failure and of rejection

I am scared that I’m too confident…more inner-confidence than I should have, while showing little-zero confidence on the outside

I am hopeful that I’ll find a way to show more outside confidence

I am hopeful that I will realize it doesn’t matter what other people think because who really gives a fuck in the long run

I am hopeful that I will realize that I oveanalyze myself way more than others do

Ok so clearly my thoughts are all over the map since I have created 5 categories within my blog and have managed to only put 1 post for each.  I really don’t have a theme or direction for this blog, but then again my handle is a variation of the word ‘eclectic’ so in fact maybe the name is the theme…hmm?

As I was reading through other WordPress blogs today, I found one that was really interesting and unique.  Kick Off 2012 with Project 365 was one of the WordPress News posts.  It talked about people who had completed or started a themed daily project for a year.  The examples covered a variety of topics from finding a new “burger art” each day to blogging about a different breakfast each day.  The idea was intriguing, but every topic I thought of seemed very forced and uninteresting.  I was wishing that something would come naturally to me, but all of my ideas seemed very blah in comparison to the ones I had been reading about.  I continued to peruse through blogs some more, and came across another great post that really fits my life right now.  Finding Your Purpose by Free Spirits United focuses on finding your purpose by finding your passion.  This has been something I’ve been trying to figure out for years now.  I was the girl who went into college thinking I had my life completely in line and mapped out.  I thought I was ahead of the game because I didn’t go in “Undecided.”  I planned out every class I would take for my 8 semesters of undergrad and didn’t really take any time to basically search around and try anything off of that course.  I don’t regret anything that I’ve done, but I’m dealing with regret for things I didn’t do.  After I graduated, I found a job in my field and was still on track with my plan.  I would gain some experience in the area, use my free time to study for the GREs, and then apply to graduate programs to work toward my PhD in Counseling.  A few months into my first adult, full-time with benefits job, I discovered I wasn’t sure if it was what I wanted to do forever.  Could I commit to years of schooling in a field that I wasn’t even sure I liked?  I felt so lost and clueless since my plan was now a mess.  Researching different schools, programs, and faculty only made me interested in other areas, which of course I would question the very next day.  One thing would interest me for a moment, and then I’d find something else that seemed more down my alley.  Everything seemed interesting, and I couldn’t figure out how to narrow down my interests.  It seemed easier to figure out what I didn’t love, rather than to focus on what I loved.  And that has what I’ve been trying to work on for the past few years now.  I’ve managed to cross off some professions off of my list of interests, but there are still so many that I haven’t had a chance to experience or research.  I’ve realized that most people don’t have a clue what they really want to do with their life, and that’s comforting at times.  But I also realize that I can’t continue to spend each day being clueless, and that I need to start making notes of what I really do love so that I can figure out some direction.  I don’t want to look at my life 20 years down the road and say, “well I’m still trying to figure things out.”  If I spend all of this time trying to figure out what my perfect passion is then I won’t accomplish anything.  A very intelligent man told me, “action does not come from motivation, motivation comes from action.”  This is so true.  So in an effort to find the things I truly love and discover my passion, I’m going to take the next 366 (it’s a leap year) days to figure out one thing that I love, appreciate, find value in, etc each day.  Rarely do I reflect on my day and take the time out to appreciate something that happened, so I am hoping that this new blogging experience will help me hone in on that.  And even after my year’s journey, if I still haven’t figured out a little more direction in my life, then hopefully I will have trained myself to recognize the bright side of each day.

New Year Resolutions

Let me start off by saying I have a very pessimistic view on new year resolutions.  I’ve never made one myself, and I’ve never known anyone to stick with theirs into the spring.  Most people have very “blah” resolutions like, “I want to lose weight”, “I want to be more grateful”, “I want to see the bright side in every day”.  All of these are great, but they don’t need to come at the new year.  What really changes in 2012 from 2011?  Aren’t you supposed to wake up every morning with a new fresh attitude and outlook on life?  I counsel elementary school students, and trust me, every day I encourage them to start off new.  Actually, throughout the day I remind them to “reset” their day…change things around if it’s going rough.  Change things around if it’s going better, so why wait until 2012?  If I decide to make a change in June, I don’t say, “well hell, that sounds like a great new year resolution, let me add a note in my blackberry, and I’ll get started on that right away on January 1st.”  No.

Now, this post sounds like it’s going somewhere positive.  You’re thinking, “pessimism?  Try realism…this is totally how it should be!”  But no, this will fit into the, “Seriously?? Really?” category starting…now.

I hate when people crowd MY gym after the first of the year to lose their fat asses.  All of those people out there who are determined to lose weight come storming in on January 2nd (the 1st is reserved for getting over that hangover) and push all of us already active people out.  I am speaking from an experience that I have had to deal with for the 3 previous years.  I’m a member of a different gym now, and I’m hoping that the new year effects will be fewer, but like I said, I’m pessimistic.  These girls (it’s mainly females I’ve noticed) come in and they get on the ellipticals and the treadmills and they poke around at the buttons and breathe heavily while I’m standing by the water fountain.  The gym I used to go to was small with very few machines that were often filled even before the new year rolled around.  The regular gym-goers who had a routine time for their workout would have to wait while the newbies found out what it was like to sweat for the first time.  I know that I should be more supportive.  I should’ve cheered them on, encouraged them, prayed that they would stick with it, but it was cutting into my time.  I had already made the decision to get active years ago, why was I being punished now?  Yes, this is quite selfish, and I would scold myself with each horrible thought that went through my head.

It’s not that I don’t want people to lose weight or become healthy.  I definitely do, but please, not all at once.  Here’s a mini psychophysics lesson.  Just-noticeable difference.  It’s the idea that when a certain amount of a property is added or taken away, the difference from the starting amount of the property is noticed.  If that amount is not within a certain threshold, the difference will not be noticed.  So for example, if one new resolutioner came once a week, I wouldn’t even notice that my gym space was being taken over.  The difference wouldn’t be large enough for me to notice.  However, when all of a sudden 10 new girls are on the machines that are usually occupied by the regular gym-goers, yes, I’m going to notice, and yes I’m going to be pissed if my favorite machine is taken.  And honestly, after a certain length of commitment, I will even group those newbies into the regular gym-goer category.  I will accept you and respect you just like everyone else.  There won’t be a ceremony or anything like that, but I will try my best not to glare.  Unfortunately, most of the newbies don’t make it past March.  They have a good run, and then they fall off the wagon, just to reinstate weight loss as their resolution the following year.

I’ll attempt to end on a positive note.  The main idea: Don’t make a new year resolution.  Odds are you won’t stick with it.  There’s nothing worse than saying, “I’m going to do this!” and then realizing that you’re not.  I don’t have the statistics here in front of me, but I bet if I did, it would say that a majority of resolutions end in failure.  So wait until February, hell, wait until April or May.  It will probably be warmer and then you can run outside.  That’s something I won’t complain about.